The Elite Eight is under way!

The championship match is rapidly approaching, but which to famed fighters will be there?

The first Elite Eight match of the tournament was held yesterday in Cassell Coliseum, the culminating location of the Fight of the Day 5. Virginia Tech's own Liz Heisler was fired up to fight Jackie Chan, in what could be her last match of the tournament. The martial arts master entered the cage today without a sound, and without being seen, only confirming the fact that he is an actual ninja. Heisler's sick math skills enabled her to calculate Chan's exact coordinates within the cage. With this knowledge, Heisler was able to use her pyromaniac tendencies to her advantage, setting Chan's black belt on fire at the ends. The now-flaming ninja flew at the innocent-looking Hillcrestacean with the intent to strike her upon the equation-filled cranium. He succeeded, splitting Heisler's head open with his powerful flying kick, exploding great music, mathematical genius, and an overwhelming effusion of quality movie choices. A somber mood has fallen around the 2.5 floor near the Fight of the Day headquarters, with many of the Heisler faithful heading outdoors to burn various things in her memory.

Because of Daylight Savings Time, or lack thereof, Fight of the Day has been operating on a less-than-regular schedule. For that reason, the upcoming match between the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and Gollum has already finished! The administration apologizes for the lack of initiative taken by the commissioner during this time change.