Friday, November 6, 2009

Now with a higher concentration of AWESOME: Sweet Sixteen Results

**By popular request, today's recaps contain slightly fewer words and hopefully a little more awesome sauce than recent recaps.

Would we finally see the upset of a #1 seed today? Will a non-human make it to the Elite Eight today? Keep reading and we'll see!

Captain America stood with an air of triumph about him as his match against the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog commenced. The Rabbit, not surprisingly, began the match looking cute, cuddly, and entirely harmless. This perceived innocence faded rather quickly when Captain America threw his recently repaired shield patriotically at the fuzzy ball of fluff, only to have it deflected by the powerful kick of the Rabbit's hind legs. The next most American thing the masked man could think of would be to shoot the Killer Rabbit for sport; however, Captain America failed to bring a gun, because he just doesn't do that. All other options exhausted, Captain America went in for the hands-on approach, which as most of you could guess, didn't turn out so well. The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog did a wonderful job of exposing the fact that Captain America did not in fact have any superhuman powers at all.

Gollum and Socrates met today in a heated battle of one-named wonders. In order for Socrates to have a full grasp of the scope of the match, he repeatedly asked the former Smeagol questions about his nature, and the surroundings of the cage. To "help out" the Greek philosopher, Gollum offered to guide him around the cage. Along the path to wherever they were going inside the cage, Gollum deviously pointed out some hemlock, suggesting that Socrates try some. In what could be the most stunning turn of events in the Fight of the Day, Socrates fell for it. The hemlock caused Socrates' entire respiratory system to collapse, suffocating him to death. The last word the Greek spoke was, of course, "Why?"

There you have it folks! Tune in today for James Bond versus Tyler Durden and Jean Grey versus Boba Fett!

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