| show details 9:52 PM (0 minutes ago) |
The match between James Bond and Tyler Durden was a nightmare for the officials. Neither competitor broke Fight of the Day rules, but boy, oh boy, were the rules of Fight Club disrespected. When he arrived to face off with the British spy, he announced to the entire crowd that he was a member of a secret organization devoted to fighting that would give him a clear advantage over the tuxedo-ed intelligence officer. After this flagrant violation of the first rule of Fight Club, Durden repeated his assertion, breaking the second rule as well! By this point, James Bond had removed his belt and was using it to strangle Durden, thereby violating the sixth rule of Fight Club. Durden eventually yelled "Stop!" and tried to tap out of the match, but the persistent 007 held his improvised assassin's wire around Durden's throat, tightening it more and more, killing the figment of some narrator's imagination once and for all, and also violating the third rule of Fight Club.
In the longest and most evenly matched fight of the Sweet Sixteen, mutant Jean Grey faced off with bounty hunter Boba Fett. Fett represented the SEC's (StarWars is Excellent Conference) only hope to defend its tournament wins, but could he get it done for his conference. After his battle against Joseph Stalin, Boba Fett was barred from bringing his Home Carbonite Freezer into the match, and was told by the Fight of the Day commissioner that he must use his traditional forms of killing and capture for his upcoming match. As the top-notch headhunter entered the match, the entire audience, as well as the cage itself was levitating about four feet off the ground while Jean Grey sat quietly but intensely in the corner. When Fett tossed a thermal detonator across the cage toward her, the mutant suppressed the explosion into a small *pop* with her telekinesis. Boba's next attack, a volley of blaster fire, was stopped by a wall of invisible force generated by the redhead's mutant mind powers. A third attempt at killing Grey would have to involve the bounty hunter's famed cunning and planning skills rather than brute force. Unfortunately, the extremely powerful mutant woman didn't allow time for such things; she invaded the adopted Mandalorian's mind and wreaked havoc, causing Boba Fett's head to literally explode inside his helmet. At that moment, the entire arena dropped back into place with a jolt, and Jean Grey walked out calmly triumphant.
Today's matches are nearly done! Have you stopped by to see who's winning? Will it be Optimus Prime or Stephen Hawking? Sean Connery or Guy Fawkes?
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